At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.
So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.
She refused to fix my grade.
In the end, she shit herself on stage.
I didn’t regret it.
MY FRIEND JUST WENT OUT FOR DINNER AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER TURNED UP AT THE WINDOW LIKE HE HAD A FRICKING RESERVATION
GOD DAMMIT AUSTRALIA
McDonald’s has been forced to open its first ever restaurant with a turquoise coloured sign after city planners said the signature yellow sign would be too garish. Officials in Sedona, Arizona told the fast-food giant they were unable to open a restaurant with the trademark yellow logo.This is due to the city’s strict regulations which prevent buildings from ruining the picturesque view of the desert.
Photo credit: Michael Wright/WENN.com
It’s weird to think about how your birth is a fixed point in time but your death is constantly moving based on the decisions you make. The length of your life is always fluctuating.
Penguin falls down resulting in best sound ever [x]
oh my god
they all gasped like OHHH
IM CRYING IM PHYSICALLY CRYING HE FALLS AND THERE ALL LIKE WHAAAAWHOA U OK BRO AND HE GETS UP LIKE *SIGH* YEAH ITS FINE
I just watched this like 8 times
the fact that there have no leaked nudes in my dashboard proves that i’m following the right people
Alien head dumplings at Tokyo Disney Sea. They are mochi filled with ice cream. Each one is a different flavor!
What should I get my mom for her bday?
a condom. maybe she won’t mess up next time.
party don’t start til i walk in.
This hasn’t been on my dash in way too long.